It is not illegal to be creepy. Well, not usually. Yet.
Don: Certain, come on. Joey's a sweet kid. I think you're over-reacting, to say the least.
Certain: how about this
Certain: i will call him, and you can listen on speakerphone
Don: Isn't that illegal?
Certain: only in twelve states
Certain: so if we needed to, we could just cross a state border and it would be totally legal
Certain: God bless America.